My husband and I met and married in our mid-thirties, so I’m of what they call “advanced maternal age”- i.e. I had a lot of appointments during my pregnancy. As in- I felt like I was at the doctor every week, and even more at the end of my pregnancy. We did several ultrasounds and early genetic testing- all the little extras to ensure that my sweet babe was safe in my “geriatric” body, ha!
My husband and I knew from the very moment we found out we were pregnant that we wanted our baby’s gender to be a surprise. For him, it was exciting- he is a patient person, and can wait for things to come in their own time. I was also incredibly excited, but also tempted to cheat. I’m a bit more anxiety-ridden and want to see the future 5-minutes in advance, so waiting was a challenge. To us, there was just great fun in the surprise of waiting until our baby was born to find out if it was a boy or a girl. Mostly…
There were times I was tempted. I remember at the 20-week ultrasound the sonographer told me to look away if we didn’t want to know gender as she was scanning our baby’s lower-half. With both of my pregnancies, I would cover my eyes ¾ of the way, peeking through my fingers just the slightest bit to see if I could make anything out. I’m not going to lie- there were a few times that the control freak in me almost cracked.
The waiting seemed to bother others more than us. We just referred to each baby as “little boo”, and picked out whatever looked cute to us. On more than one occasion, though, people would tell us that they couldn’t believe that we’d chosen to wait- that it was a big surprise regardless if you find out in an ultrasound room or a delivery room. At one point I had someone at work tell me that I must be lying- that surely we knew and just didn’t want anyone else to know our baby’s gender! (Nope!). While we were curious, we didn’t need to know in the same way that so many of our friends did.
Our reasoning was simple. In life in the 21st century, there are so few things left to surprise. To us, this was the ultimate surprise. We had nine months to build it up, to wonder, to speculate. And we had no preference. I knew that my husband would like a boy at some point, but we were just so excited that we truly didn’t care.